One month.
THE FIRST THING
The first thing that goes through my mind when i was diagnosed was, how long will i live?
And i am sure everyone feels the same way ( or maybe just me? )
dont worry. i am convinced that with proper care and medication, people living with HIV can live a long life.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?
once diagnosed, i cried on my way back. i never cried that much in my entire adult life. i cried while having flashbacks of my life achievements, my dreams, my childhood, my parents, my families and my friends, and even my office.
i put on a poker face upon reaching my home as i dont want my parents to find out that something is wrong. then i spend the next few days googling and researching about how long will i live and how to cope up with this. i google HIV and AIDS. what i found scares me a lot.
then i realise that i search under the wrong keyword. i then search for living positive or positive living with hiv. thats when i found blogs of other people's struggle and other people's life experience with HIV.
this is not a curse. yes, there is a virus inside me, a time bomb. but if we look at other people's struggle. sometimes, we are still considered lucky. this is a reminder.
so to those who just got diagnosed, relax. we did a mistake. and when we did a mistake, we apologised, we promise not to do it again, and we change ourselves.
Change is inevitable, Change for the better whenever able.
TIPS
My tips to those who were recently diagnosed, just read out positive things. surround yourself with positive people.
My tips to those around us, give moral support. even a nice comment on a blog page is enough to motivate us. and dont worry. we wont infect you with anything. i wish i can say the same about the people around me, but i chose to keep it a secret. because of my parents health, i dont want for them to worry about me. but i know they love me.
i am a vampire.
The first thing that goes through my mind when i was diagnosed was, how long will i live?
And i am sure everyone feels the same way ( or maybe just me? )
dont worry. i am convinced that with proper care and medication, people living with HIV can live a long life.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?
once diagnosed, i cried on my way back. i never cried that much in my entire adult life. i cried while having flashbacks of my life achievements, my dreams, my childhood, my parents, my families and my friends, and even my office.
i put on a poker face upon reaching my home as i dont want my parents to find out that something is wrong. then i spend the next few days googling and researching about how long will i live and how to cope up with this. i google HIV and AIDS. what i found scares me a lot.
then i realise that i search under the wrong keyword. i then search for living positive or positive living with hiv. thats when i found blogs of other people's struggle and other people's life experience with HIV.
this is not a curse. yes, there is a virus inside me, a time bomb. but if we look at other people's struggle. sometimes, we are still considered lucky. this is a reminder.
so to those who just got diagnosed, relax. we did a mistake. and when we did a mistake, we apologised, we promise not to do it again, and we change ourselves.
Change is inevitable, Change for the better whenever able.
TIPS
My tips to those who were recently diagnosed, just read out positive things. surround yourself with positive people.
My tips to those around us, give moral support. even a nice comment on a blog page is enough to motivate us. and dont worry. we wont infect you with anything. i wish i can say the same about the people around me, but i chose to keep it a secret. because of my parents health, i dont want for them to worry about me. but i know they love me.
i am a vampire.
Very good piece of writing from you Mr Vampire. I enjoyed reading it. Magic Johnson once said "if I know what I know now about hiv, I wont quit from NBA".
ReplyDeleteYes. Thanks to u.
DeleteEach day i learn smthing new and i think this virus change the way i value life.
Vampire. Hehe
DeleteIf you don't tell your family members, who do you express your feelings to? Where do you find the strength to move on? I'm wondering, that's all. You sound really happy and positive despite your condition. But I believe Allah put you in this situation as His Mercy to bring you back to Him. Keep on praying to Allah (swt).
ReplyDeleteAltho i didnt tell my family, they are still my source of support. My heart screams out but i dont want to burden them. And yes, i turn to the Almighty. Alhamdulillah. I am positive because i love everyone around me so much that i still want to work hard for them.
DeleteAhh, alhamdulilah! Continue to be strong. Semoga Allah mempermudahkan urusan Helmi. Ameen.
DeleteI am so proud of this young man....Amazing spirit of young muslim...Go dear achieve whatever you want in life. Enjoy your life, be the beat and prove us hiv is nothing
ReplyDelete